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Patience is one quality that people need to have to keep the mind and the world peaceful. Well, I am an impatient homeschooling mom emotionally, I would like to confess. Therefore, I try hard to keep away my children from being impatient like me while I try to control myself to be a patient mom. If you are also in impatient mom like me, I would like to suggest you to read
I think it is great to start helping kids to be patient since they were small. Kids has to be introduce to the word “patience”. They don't have the natural understanding of that term in most cases. One virtue that will do them well in life is patience, and here is how parents can learn to help kids to understand about being patient. By helping them, parents are also going to learn how to handle their own emotion.
Children are not used to waiting. Since they were born, we can see how most children have difficulty in controlling their manner to be patient. When they can't speak, they cry waiting for their parents come running. Parents will pick up and cuddle them. They get their diapers changed. They are fed a bottle or their mom will nurse them as soon as they were hungry. They hear soft voice from mom or dad to calm down their emotion and to get them back to sleep. What is to prevent them from expecting to have their needs met all the time in this way?
Parents would have some routine of feeding, changing and tending to their tiny toddlers so that they can get on with what they want to do. Unfortunately, it can set up a bad manner or attitude. Kids expect what they want right when they want it. If they don't get it, they would show some menacing behaviors.
Everything in life won't happen in some instant satisfaction. For many times, we have to wait to get what we desired. There are some training or lessons in waiting that are valuable for kids to learn before they grow up into adults. Patience, in this case, is the art of waiting and handling the times in between.
Treating Delay as a Character Trait
Patience is a challenging virtue to learn even as an adult. For kids, it can be near impossible without some help from parents. Here are some ways to help kids understand and benefit from it.
This can be learned in infancy. As a child is getting older, there are times when they cry is not caused by being hungry, wet or sick. Parents will wake up for several times per night at every little whine seeing if they are okay. While most parents are not comfortable to let their kids cry for hours, a bit of weeping might result from suddenly waking up. It would be great to let them learn to lull themselves back to sleep. Peek your head in to make sure they are not wrapped up in the blankets but don't pick them up. They will try to calm themselves down to solve the problem. Unless it is an emergency or too harsh action, children will be able to do it independently.
The same can be done for older kids. Turn on the night light to lighten their way to the bathroom but avoid running to help them for everything. When they were in a state of being impatient, have some time out for them to calm down themselves.
Change the focus
Two or more siblings want the same things but one has already been using it. There is a couple of possibility parents might do usually. Parents might shift the thing to a new owner to squash the argument and allow the second child to wait their turn. They also might take the things away and none will have the things for the sake of being fair. The ideal action is to get the other wait in limited time or certain condition. While they wait, you might change their attention to other things or activities to avoid grieve.
Older children can also help themselves to change the focus on something else while they are waiting for something.
Model it for them
You probably have difficulty waiting as well like I do. Don't hide that from your kids. Let them know that even though you wish some things didn't take time, you understand there is a reason for waiting. Switch your attention to other pursuits as well while practicing patience. While I feel impatient to my children, I try to get focus to something else without forgetting them. It is just to reduce my emotion to the matters that make me impatient.
It's not easy for little ones to wait but learning this trait can benefit them later in life.
Some Activities to Build Patience
Here are some activities helping kids to be patient:
- Fishing is the ultimate activity that needs a great deal of patience. Waiting for the fish get the bait will require us to be patient.
- Playing Puzzle will require us to wait and match the picture and the pieces.
- Reading the Scripture is also a way to calm down the mind.
- Chanting is going to change the focus temporarily. You might also have some prayers in forms of chants.
- Listening to a calm music will give influence to your brain.
- Reading thick books will also need a lot of patience.
What do you do to help kids being patient?
Adelien Tan is a mother of three awesome boys and a wife of a great husband. They are a home education family who live in Surabaya, Indonesia, where home education is still very rare. English is her foreign language, but She tries to use it in blogging.