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There are some different things that I found in this academic year which have already given me a challenge of both parenting and homeschooling my 2 sons. It is quite disappointing for us to find them different from how they were. They are now growing as early teenagers. Actually, it is not a really difference all of the time, but sometimes they behave differently in terms of learning. As we are homeschooling family, it is hard to differentiate the parenting and homeschooling in this case.
Here are some new manners or things that make them “different” from they were previously
When they were little kids, it is not hard to “persuade” them doing things more challenging. We could get them whatever we have put into program. Right now they start to give some protest or claim what they want. They sound more critical in doing what they are going to do. We often change “speed”. The lessons sometimes take faster and sometimes take slower.
This one is very challenging for us. They want others treat them like adults in some occasions, but they still show childish behaviour most of the times. They sometimes look extremely happy and enthusiastic, but they feel pessimistic and reluctant on the other time. Their mood keeps changing, so that the lessons are sometimes interrupted. It also confuse us as parents.
Try to get attention with physical appearance
It keeps us laughing to see them trying to look great with their clothes and hair. They sometimes look themselves in front of the mirror and smile. They asked me why only a few people mention they are handsome. They look tidier in their daily homeschooling style. This is quite positive change, isn't it?
Inquiry to Sexual Information
Their friends start to introduce them with pornography. I really don't like this fact. The negative influence still attack us although we are homeschooling family. It leads them to ask more questions about the sexual topics. However, I still feel lucky that we are homeschooling family so that we know them better. We try hard to acknowledge this fact as a positive thing.
There is a time when they cannot handle their desire in many different ways. They cannot control the need of playing the games, watching the TV, reading comics, etc which are not on the right time. It annoys the schooling time a lot. To cover their wrong doings, the start lying to us. It is very upsetting that they tell the lies.
I found those changes have been very challenging and hard. Where are our babies? “It is just a start,” I always tell myself. As their mother and a homeschooling teacher, I try hard to find ways to face these facts. I am not an expert yet as I still need to explore more about how I teach my early teenagers. Here are some things I try to do in both parenting and homeschooling.
Listen to their voice
Children might have thought that I am too chatty interfering their will too much. We cannot talk at the same time. I need to listen first before talk to them. When I talk at the same time with the time they argue, they just feel that I have opposed them since the first time. They will start being so rebellious and make a lie. If they don't like something, I try to negotiate my best. That's right. There are more negotiation now. Our lessons become chaos right now since it is impossible to give exact hours for them to finish everything as it was. That's why we change our daily schedule.
See a good opportunity to communicate in two directions
There are times when they want their opinion to be accepted absolutely. I just cannot refuse their ideas at that time and watch what they are doing. It usually deals with the electronic game time, impolite response or pitch in front of other people, and their statement of being bored in doing assignment. They just left the work even I try to block them leaving. Well, it looks very rude and unusual of them acting like that. Facing this fact, we try our best to get a time when we can have 2 ways of communication. It is just impossible to talk to them when they are just in bad mood as the result must be fighting between us. Rather than being tired of fighting, it is better to wait when our emotion calm down.
I have so many times getting very disappointed when I know they tell lie, but I have to wait for the right time to talk further about their lie. Rather being angry and upset at the time they tell and do lie to me, I prefer waiting (not too long) to give us a time to think.
Support how they want to look more attractive in certain limit
When kids were as small as babies and toddler, I always talk to my husband that girls look cute to have a lot of variation of accessories to wear while boys are boring with just T-shirt or shirt and pants or trousers. It is the time for us to get them more confident with their appearance. However, we always try to emphasize that they look good with how they appear naturally. Giving praises to their daily appearance at school time will motivate them a lot.
Put up some cases related with sexuality problems
We try to put away taboo in discussion with kids. As Asian parents, talking about sexual problems sounds weird for us. For the children sake, we try to make it as something natural. Avoiding giggling, teasing, laughing while talking about this matter. Rather than knowing from the wrong resources, we try to be “open” in certain limit with kids questions and even we discuss some news which are related to the sexual topic in the current events and any lesson topics.
I would like to confess that I often ask myself, my husband, and kids, “How are kids going to be in the next 20 years?” I feel very frustrated sometimes waiting them to be real men. You must be thinking that I have been very silly, right. Watching them growing and learning closely, I really feel nervous and uncertain, for honest. They learn differently from others. Beside trying my best, I just can pray to God for their success in many areas of life. Life is not in terms of academic world, but it has a lot of different areas to build up and expand. I always ask God for guiding us as parents so that we can do what God want us to do to fulfil our ministry in the world.
For more great encouragement and tips post about How We Teach Different Learning Styles and Personalities, head on over to iHomeschoolnetwork